That's right, we are back in Smoochville. Population: YOU.
The latest in our First Kiss Project series is another anonymous entry. Our poster takes us back to the 90s to his all boys' school and the palpable chemistry between him and his best friend.
Anonymous
England, UK
In the mists of time, or the mid-90s, I was 15 and going to an all boys school. My (yes male) best friend had been hitting on me for some time – and I was quite determined to believe that I was making it up or that it was a convoluted wind up. I didn’t feel I had anyone I could confide in and, despite having some serious doubts about who and what I was, I finally decided he wasn’t winding me up (with him being really very pretty and me being very mousey and nerdy).
Despite this decision, there were still a few months of will we won’t we – with all the hormonal subtlety only a teenager can muster – I can only hope our friends were as clueless or they were ignoring the obvious for our benefit.
There was finally a weekend away with parents where we were sleeping in a tent outside. And very, very awkwardly we had our first kiss, and it was lovely and exciting.
It continued being very exciting/scary for a few months then went very much downhill, both being very much not out and not prepared to admit it was anything more than a bit of mucking about it led to a fairly messy exit over a few very dramatic, oh so teenage, years.
Anonymous solely because he’s straight and never did tell anyone, I’m gay and have an awesome boyfriend I live with now.
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I love this story. For all of the wonderfully progressive and inclusive parts of society we enjoy now, it is important to remember that a lot of LGBTQ relationships and personal experiences were forged in fires such as this. Couple together the 90s and the highly charged cis gendered, hetero male environment (SPORTS.) and I'm pretty sure you have a incredibly loaded cocktail of hormones, nerves, secrecy and uncertainty. That, plus puberty would have rendered me utterly defunct so, hats off to you my friend.
If you'd like to share your first kiss story, or read any of our previous submissions, head to the First Kiss Project page.
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I enjoyed this story! I hope it's a lot easier nowadays in schools for kids to fancy someone of the same sex.
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