Enormous rant.

Hello.. So today I am completely shocked and appalled by this facebook group called "Fatal Mistakes Men Make During Sex" please, go and read the rules they've put up for men when having sex with a girl:

"Candles and music are good, lights on is a big no no"
"If the covers start to fall off the bed, pull them back over as we will be very conscious of the fact that we are in full view"
"The fact we are shagging you on the first night does not make us a whore, it just means we feel like we have to have sex with you in order to keep you"

What the hell is going on??

This whole debacle got me thinking about women today and our attitudes towards sex and men in general. When was it, exactly, that women were having such grave misgivings about being fully naked with someone and then had sex with them anyway?
This is such a disconnect of ideas for me... and having sex with someone on the first date in order to keep them???? No offence, but if you feel you are losing somebody when you first start going out, you most likely are, having sex with them is not going to magically tether them to you, it's just going to show them that they don't need to try any harder with you because they get to sleep with you anyway.

Some of my other favourites include:

"Don’t ever feel our legs because there is a chance we haven’t shaved them and we will be VERY aware of that fact"
"In the morning, do us a favour and leave the room for a couple of minutes because no matter how sexy we look naked or how much we need the toilet we will be very conscious about getting out of the bed in front of you"
"No morning kisses (we will probably be fully aware of bad breath particularly if we have been smoking/drinking/giving head)"

I don't mean to be insulting here, I just think that the right person should never make you feel any of these things, and the fact that there are women all over the world settling for this list of neuroses whenever they get close to a man just makes me rather sad I suppose.
These women are advocating wanting affection from men, but without being touched too much, they want to be seen and enjoyed, but only in the dark apparently, and they want cuddles but no kisses and then the man has to LEAVE THE ROOM in the morning so they can get out of bed. Is this what it's come to now? *facepalm* Ladies, we are so much better than this.

If you don't feel comfortable enough to be naked with a man and to let him see you pad around the room in your underwear or kiss you with full on disastrous morning breath then he is clearly not right for you. Being naked and vulnerable with someone is daunting, but when it's the right person, he should make you feel like a goddess, not someone who wants to hide under the sheets and is worried about her back fat. If he is making you feel this way, then he doesn't deserve you.. and you should probably stop giving him a backstage pass to your vagina.

All of these little things that this group is telling men to avoid are what I like to call the good stuff.. sex should be fun and loving and hilarious and ridiculously hot and uninhibited. Why should we settle for any less than that? Perhaps I am coming from a different perspective here, seeing as I prefer monogamous sex within a relationship and this group seems to appeal to the more casual variety. But some of the same principles still hold..
Take Bob and I for instance, before we were together I had been abstinent for two years. I didn't want to be in a relationship and casual, anonymous sex has never been something that I've felt the need to partake in, so I decided to remain stone cold single until I felt it was right for me to change that.

During this time, I went from looking like this:

To this:

But having sex with Bob makes me feel like this:

Like these hot bitches on the cover of Italian Vogue.
Now, surely that's the whole point?

And so I urge you, women of the internet..
Never settle for anything less than someone making you feel like the incredible sex bomb that you are.

(I did try to express all of this on the facebook page itself, but they blocked me immediately... go figure.)

My Life As An Imposter

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